10 Excuses (And Snacks) For A Night In

Written by
March 12, 2018

Sometimes you just can't be bothered leaving your house. We understand that and do not judge you for your home-loving impulses.

Making a great snack for hanging out at the home base is fantastic. You could even plan your snacks around the tasting notes (fancy speak for: ‘what the heck does this thing taste like?’) of a refreshing beer. Our pick at the moment? Coopers Session Ale, a NEW brew to the Coopers stable that has some very pleasing tropical fruit notes.

Unfortunately, sometimes people get annoyed when you cancel stuff in order to stay home with your soul mate/platonic soul mate. Here are some quick one-liners to get you out of plans, so you can drink a quiet beer with your housemates, partner and cats.

(Do they have to be real excuses? Absolutely not! But don’t let the truth get in the way of a good night in.)

“I need to feed my dog.”

Keeping a pet alive is a great excuse to stay in. Don’t have a pet? Doesn’t matter! Find yourself a pet rock. No-one will question this.

While you’re at home feeding your pet rock (What do they eat? Other rocks?), pair your Coopers with a hot side like spicy chicken wings or spicy potato wedges. Lighter-tasting beers go well with food that has a little kick.

“I got a bad haircut.”

Everyone understands the utter horror that comes from a bad haircut. You can’t let people see you like this! What will they think! What if there’s a scout for Australia’s Next Top Model at the event you’re attending, and you blow your big break!

Next time you do actually feel like spending a night out, and people question why your hair looks pretty normal, just say that it grows really, really quickly. In the meantime, you could pair a refreshing beer with some fried food like fries. Lighter-tasting beers go really well with heavier-tasting food.

“The ‘game’ is on.”

So sorry everyone, myself and my family are watching the game. What specific game is this? Pick anything! AFL, NRL, Eurovision… the options are endless!

While you enjoy the spirit of competition (or pretend to) why not get a bit experimental with your food and drink pairing and match your beer to cheese? Session Ale has some nice tropical, citrus notes to it, which would pair really with a smooth mozzarella.

“I spent all my money on Kylo Ren collectable figurines.”

Hey, you never know when they’ll start being valuable. Instead of spending your money on over-priced mixers, stay in with your mates and pair a Coopers with a fresh, homemade mozzarella pizza.

(You can order one too, it’s okay.)

“I forgot that my entire family are staying over for our annual family vacation.”

Hm, this sounds fantastic, actually. Maybe this shouldn’t be a fake excuse and you should just plan an all-in, rollicking family trip. You’ll be the hero of your family!

Why not serve up a fruity dessert to go with your fruity beer? It sounds like a strange combo, but try matching the flavours of the beer and the dessert – perhaps a passionfruit tart?

“It’s the anniversary of the Seinfeld finale and I need to be alone.”

Look, Seinfeld is a pretty good show. Anyone would understand why you might need a few hours of solitude to reflect upon its demise. What your friends don’t know is that you can’t really be bothered going out, so instead you’re just hanging with your housemate instead. Maybe you’ll watch some Seinfeld!

A fruity beer pairs really well with Chinese food, so order in or cook up some sticky pork and greens.

“It’s raining and I just got a perm.”

“And no, an umbrella won’t fully protect the width of my new perm. I think I’ll stay in and match this tangy beer with a tangy guacamole instead.”

”The M*A*S*H finale is on TV and I want to experience it like they did in 1983.”

When the M*A*S*H finale first aired, there was no Instagram, no Tinder notifications and no ‘check-ins’. That’s why to recreate a fully authentic viewing experience you must cut yourself off from the digital world (not including the Atari 5200) and immerse yourself in the M*A*S*H experience.

What snack should you choose for this night in? Coopers and popcorn, naturally. Popcorn goes with everything.

“My housemate and I just started listening to Serial and we need to listen to it in silence before anyone wrecks it.”

Sometimes you just don’t have time to keep up with all the latest pop culture fads. Sometimes you’re more than a couple of years late! Hey, it happens.

If this excuse is actually true and you haven’t listened to Serial (we promise not to tell you what happens in the end), treat your housemate to some spicy Thai food, flavours which will pair beautifully with the Coopers Session Ale.

“I’m allergic to going out.”

Fake excuses don’t have to make sense. Make yourself some nachos, crack a Coopers and enjoy a night in with your fellow home-loving buddies.